Just like this…

I have nightmares I’m on stage just like this…

Praising your charm, your humor, all the rehearsed emotions you showed to mask your dark soul — praising to the crowd who is mourning your loss.

Despite my frightful joy, in one years time, I still hear your piercing voice ring through my ears as I take cover in a closet, on a pile of sticky college bar ridden shoes as you YELL– ” It’s all your fault if this knot is strong enough to steal my air!” Little did I know you would.

I have nightmares even worse than the last. I’m on a stage just like this…

Praising your charm, your humor, all the rehearsed emotions you showed to convince me this was real. Despite my frightful reluctance, I am reciting vows I googled moments before, because I knew you were not worthy of my thought yet, I said them because you were at least more worthy than my voice.

I have nightmares even worst than the last. I’m on a stage just like this…

Praising your charm, your humor, all your rehearsed emotions you showed to make friends. As you hustle them out of their money, nice things, and dignity; as you hook them on drugs until they OD on false possibilities.

I have nightmares even worse than the last. I sit looking at a stage just like this…

Watching her praise his charm, his humor, all his rehearsed emotions because she is my daughter and  my nightmares bled into her womb.